Dawn of War Configuration Woes, and the Solution!

So I decided on a whim to reinstall and begin playing through Dawn of War, Winter Assault, Dark Crusade, and Soulstorm. As my current laptop only packs a measly 8400m GS, I'm not currently in a situation to enjoy the wonders of Dawn of War 2. Anyhow, I ran into a nasty, nasty frustration that only applied to Dawn of War and Winter Assault: they wouldn't run! They gave an error about 'missing spooge driver: ensure directX is properly installed,' or some such nonsense. Let me tell you, I was ticked! So I started cruising around the web, and I found the solution!